fresh jokes

- Maybe we should open a smoking room in the school? .
- But why? .

When I did Shurik blowjob and he told me that Irina makes it much.
better - I said nothing and just gritted my teeth in silence.

News of the currency market. Today is the official U.S. dollar exchange rate.
again slightly decreased and amounted to 2. $ 17 per bottle.

The husband calls his wife:.
- Well, everyone congratulate me! .
wife:.
- Again you lie?.
- Now, why did you lie to me? .

Her husband sits on the Internet. Suddenly he heard a muffled voice of his wife:.
- No, no, dear, now I can not, let's meet tomorrow.
Immediately runs into his wife's room:.
- You talked on the phone?.
- No. I read women's magazine, the article is interesting, there are 50 phrases.
should be read aloud in the hearing, like, ' my dear, please feel free to throw out.
waste ',.
' When you finally pribesh curtain? ' .
his own business only hears her husband uttered a whisper fifty-first. and.
Look, do not lie.

Armenian Radio asked:.
- The Mermaid is a woman or a fish?.
After a pause, Armenian Radio answers:.
- And it depends what more you want?.

The doctor to the patient by phone:.
- I have two news for you: lousy and arhihuevaya!.
- Well, let's fucking!.
- Tests have shown that you have left to live on the strength of three days!.
- Eeee!. And what sort arhihuevaya news?.
- For two days I 'm trying to get through to you!.

Tricks of the Trade: Did you know that if put in a goldfish.
pan, the amount of desire increases to fifty.

In an elderly couple begins its fiftieth anniversary.
wedding. In a fit of nostalgic feelings, they go to school, where they.
studied, and, holding hands, looking tenderly at the old desk with a.
used to cut the words ...
On the way home they drove past the armored car, and suddenly, out of.
He was thrown out a bag of money. Wife picked up the bag, and it.
was 50 thousand dollars.
- We need to get it back - my husband noticed.
- What has fallen, it was gone! .
hid in the attic discovery.
The next day they showed up two FBI agents.
- Sorry, could not find any one of you a bag of money,.
fallen out of an armored car yesterday?.
- No, - replied the spouse.
And her husband said:.
- Yes, she 's lying! .
- Yes, you do not listen to him, he's a little crazy. - My wife says.
But the agents sat her husband and took him in turn:.
- Come, Come, Tell us all from the beginning!.
The old man began to explain:.
- Well, in general, we will return to her home from school.
FBRovets, exchanging glances with a partner:.
- Come here!.

The question of the Armenian Radio:.
- Can the film be a happy ending, if at the end of the main character dies?.
A:.
- Maybe. If the main character - a mother-in-law.

The little girl asks to y mom money to give to stapyshke papke.
Mom, tponytaya dobpotoy dochepi gives her money.
Mother: - Poor stapyshka narrower pabotat can not!.
Girl: - So why is she in ppodaet papke lollipops.

Crossing the border, pour some tea in cellophane from a pack.
cigarette. Make a light welter in the everyday life of the customs.

Gold fish washed up on shore. Beats, can not get to the water.
He sees - the family is sitting.
fish:.
- Guessing three wishes quickly and throw back into the water!.
Son:.
- Hamster!.
dad:.
- In.
Mom:.
- From the.

Dragon caught a German, a Frenchman and Vasily Ivanovich. And he says:.
- Before the death of two of your desire to fulfill.
German:.
- A lot of snaps and sosisek.
The dragon gave, and then eaten.
Frenchman:.
- Cognac and women.
The dragon gave and ate.
Vasily:.
- A bag of condoms and a separate room.
The dragon gave waits 1:00, 2:00, 5:00. Tired of waiting, quietly.
opens the door and sees a condom the last Vasily.
fingers in her mouth stuffed and gags.
Dragon him:.
- What are you, stupid?.
Vasily:.
- And now, three-headed dog, I try to have lived!.

If at the beginning of Indian film on the wall hangs a gun, in the end it will be.
sing and dance.

Hapodnaya ppimeta:.
If a programmer in the Quaternary igpaet Hours of operation, then - or it has little.
Workflow.
and a large zapplata, or has a lot of Work and a small zapplata.

Street scene:.
- Citizeness, please be careful - golole. b your mother!.

- Tell me, Father, why did the Catholic Church choir sings.
under the harpsichord, organ or harmonium, and we, the Orthodox -.
without accompaniment?.
- The thing is, my son, that this talent does not spend on drink. But.
harpsichord - as do nehuy.

The patient comes to a psychiatrist complaining of an inferiority complex.
After extensive questioning, the psychiatrist said:.
- I can reassure you, my friend - no you do not have complex.
Do you really handicapped.

The girl's mother - a guy:.
- I'm sorry, young man, but she said she was not at home.
- Excellent. Tell her that I did not come.

Classification of vodka in the style of IT.

0. 1L - demo.
0. 25l - trial version.
0. 5l - personal edition.
0. 7l - professional edition.
a. 0n - network edition.
a. 75l - enterprise.
3L - for small business.
5l - corporate edition.
Bottle of moonshine - home edition.
' One for the road ' - Service pack.
The brine in the morning - Recovery tool.
Appetizer - plugins.
Beer - patch.
coca-cola, fanta, 7 -UP - trojan viruses.

On Valuev attacked the bear in the woods. As explained, scientists, clumsy overeaten.
toadstools and lost the instinct of self-.

Go black and the crest. Crest gets fat. Ebony sits and asks.
(pointing to the fat ): ' What is it? ' .
- Fat!.
Ebony:.
- It's the fat? . This is garbage, but not fat, that we have in Africa,.
Soak the elephant, that's bacon. And I 'm not fat.
go on. Crest gets leg. The Negro asks: ' What is it? '. Ukrainian.
says:.
- leg.
Ebony:.
- This is a leg? . This is garbage, so we have in Africa, the ostrich.
fill up, to cut, this is the leg. And you guys are leg!.
Crest offended! .
go on. There crest gets - WATERMELON.
Negro - was about to ask the type that is.
But the crest gives:.
- SILENCE. Gooseberries, BC. !!.

In the Quaternary flight vdpyg heard in the cabin and skpezhet skpip koppysa.
One passazhipov pale, y vystypil a cold sweat at the.
lby, and he clutched his fingers in kpeslo.
Close to him sat myzhik govopit calmly:.
- Do not be so excited! .
pebyata that there is in the cabin know what they do!.
Passazhip says:.
- I'm a pilot! .

Classification of assessments:.
OTL - deceived by Comrade. lecturer.
CHOIR - I wanted to cheat exposed.
DM - was able to negotiate.
Unsatisfactory - did not agree.

Shoe a flea - it's in Russian, very thin, and absolutely useless.
work!.

In the theater, where people like to play, intellectuals screaming ...
middle class - ... ! '.

The crisis - worse than a divorce. You lose half the money, but save his wife.

Archimedes went naked all the time, so invented the pendulum.

green, bald and jumping?. - The soldiers at the disco.